Thursday, November 18, 2010

Starting The Journey Of My Atonement

This evening I drove into downtown Denver to go to a bar called Lala’s Pizzeria and Wine Bar.  The purpose of my trip to this bar wasn’t to have a drink.  It wasn’t to hit on any women.  It wasn’t to have a pizza. Instead the purpose of my trip to Lala’s was to begin a personal journey of redemption and atonement.

I went to Lala’s to sign up for the Leukemia Lymphoma’s Society’s (LLS) Team-in-Training.  LLS was having an information session about team-in-training at Lala’s this evening.  For those of you who don’t know what team-in-training is, it is a program by which you train to accomplish a specific athletic endeavor.  In my case I have signed up for the team-in-training program to run the Canyonland’s half marathon in March of 2011.  This marathon takes place in Moab UT on March 19, 2011 and involved a 13.6 mile run along the Colorado River outside of Moab.  

I plan to use this entire effort to prepare myself for the half marathon as an exercise in atonement and hopefully redemption.  Though this effort I intend to purify my body and my mind.  I will leave the vestiges of my old self behind through the sweat, blood and tears I shed as I prepare for this athletic quest.  

I know it all probably sounds very stupid, but I am going to use this effort to make myself into a better person.  I will come out of this effort as a person who is redeemable and worthy of the love of Shelly.  I know it sounds so incredibly hokey, but I will do this.  I will accomplish what I am setting out to do athletically, but more importantly I will become a better person through all of my efforts.  I hope through my efforts to do something like this I can show Shelly once and for all that I am a person who is worthy of redemption and who can be trusted.  It is the only option I have left.  I love this woman so much and I am dying without her.  I can go another 5 months without her but I am going to work like hell to earn her back.

My one wish for all this is that I cross the finish line of this race on March 19, 2011 that there are 3 people there waiting to greet me – Zack, Shelly and her son.  I want them to be my family.  I want to do this for them!

Tomorrow I will have the information for my LLS's donation site.  I will enter that information here on this blog and on my facebook page.

Peace! ~J.


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