A Very Drab Friday

Over the last several weeks I have put a large amount of personal information out into this blog.  All of it had to do with my relationship with Shelly.  For now I am going to knock things down a notch and get about living a life separate from her.  If she really loves me – which I believe she does eventually we will find our way back to each other.

I have no intention of dating anyone else.  I love Shelly to the depth of my heart and now I just need to give her a lot of time and space.  I hope though that her family and particularly her best friend can read what I am writing and realize how much I love her.

I am going to get about being the best parent and person I can be.  I am going to pull myself out of the horrible depression I find myself in and do good things.

Shelly if you are reading this - I will forever be here waiting for you.  I am not going anywhere.  I do know you love me.  Be in peace.

Not much else to say today.  Zack is done with school for the next week.  Since he got home he has been wound up tighter than a drum.  I think it is the excitement of knowing that he does not have school for another week.

I had a doctor’s appointment this afternoon to try and get some additional medical help for the depression that I am experiencing.  I have seen the same doctor for the last 6 years so she has had a pretty good understanding of all that I have been through.  She took one look at me and said “You aren’t doing well at all”.  She prescribed a couple of things to help.  Unfortunately, my insurance doesn’t cover the one pill and I had to pay out the nose for it, but I think it will make a difference in my sleep.

The day here in Colorado has been very cloudy, gray and cold.  The weather has definitely matched my mood.  Unfortunately, I think the weather is supposed to be like this for the next little bit.  Hopefully it won't be too bad that it will prevent Zack and me from doing a bunch of outdoor stuff.

Thanks and peace to all! ~J.

FYSRD