Tuesday, October 26, 2010

A Familiar Ring to It

I didn't intend to write this second post tonight, but I just had to do it.

This evening I have been cleaning out the drawers of my dresser.  While doing so I came across my wedding ring.  (Well - I didn't exactly come across it as I knew where it was, but I saw it.)  This was the wedding ring I had exchanged with Patricia Rae Irwin all those years ago on November 19, 1994.  I decided to slip the ring on my finger to see what it felt like.

The first remarkable thing is that it still fit.  Even despite the 13 pounds I have lost since September 27 of this year, I still probably weigh 10 pounds more than I did back in 1994.  So I was somewhat surprised it fit.  Nonetheless there was a familiar quality to the ring but yet it was foreign.  It felt like it no longer belonged on my body - as it was a representation of a time and place that no longer exist.  Hell - it has been something like 2 years since I took this ring off.  (I think I took it off in either August or September of 2008.)

The problem is....  My finger yearns for another ring.  A ring that I was supposed to put there with another person.  That was and in my mind is my future.  I know I might be barking up a tree but I can't help but feel that destiny is still calling me and her to that point.  But how do I get it across to her?  How do I make all this right?  How do I convince her to accept me and trust me again?

I am not sure how it can be done, but I am going to keep working at this until I succeed.  Shelly please understand how much I love you and know that I am yours and will be yours for the rest of my earthly life.

Thanks and peace to all! ~J.


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