I didn't intend to write this second post tonight, but I just had to do it.
This evening I have been cleaning out the drawers of my dresser. While doing so I came across my wedding ring. (Well - I didn't exactly come across it as I knew where it was, but I saw it.) This was the wedding ring I had exchanged with Patricia Rae Irwin all those years ago on November 19, 1994. I decided to slip the ring on my finger to see what it felt like.
The first remarkable thing is that it still fit. Even despite the 13 pounds I have lost since September 27 of this year, I still probably weigh 10 pounds more than I did back in 1994. So I was somewhat surprised it fit. Nonetheless there was a familiar quality to the ring but yet it was foreign. It felt like it no longer belonged on my body - as it was a representation of a time and place that no longer exist. Hell - it has been something like 2 years since I took this ring off. (I think I took it off in either August or September of 2008.)
The problem is.... My finger yearns for another ring. A ring that I was supposed to put there with another person. That was and in my mind is my future. I know I might be barking up a tree but I can't help but feel that destiny is still calling me and her to that point. But how do I get it across to her? How do I make all this right? How do I convince her to accept me and trust me again?
I am not sure how it can be done, but I am going to keep working at this until I succeed. Shelly please understand how much I love you and know that I am yours and will be yours for the rest of my earthly life.
Thanks and peace to all! ~J.