I am finding that keeping busy is one of the few mechanisms I have to maintaining my sanity at this point. Today was a definite example of this mindset.
As per usual I was awake well before I needed to be. I woke around 4:30AM an lay in bed until almost 6AM. At that point I decided it was time to get up and hit the gym. I am finding these early morning sessions at the gym are peaceful and leave me feeling in a good mental state to start the day.
Today I was determined to have a very significant workout. I ended up spending 65 minutes on the elliptical trainer which for me is a pretty darn long workout. The workout left me feeling weak and shaky in my legs. But the mental feeling of accomplishment was great.
While I was gone Zack had woken up and spent some time hanging out with Nancy in her room reading. He is still “suspended” from most privileges though he has earned his reading privileges back. Besides reading I am encouraging him to do many other things so that he isn’t just always escaping into his mind.
After I got back from the gym I did a quick conference call for work and then Zack and I were off to do a hike. Our destination for our hike today was the Indian Creek Trailhead/Camp ground in the Pike National Forest. This is about 10 miles to the southwest of the small town of Sedalia, Colorado along Highway 67.
Much of the terrain around the Indian Creek trailhead/camp ground is about to be closed to all types of human activity for the next six months due to extensive lumber cutting operations. This area is very near to where the Hayman and Buffalo Creek wildfires have burned in years past. The Forest Service is taking this action to prevent another catastrophic fire from starting in the future. They will be logging and taking out trees on thousand of acres. This operation is scheduled to start on November 1, 2010 so I figured if we were going to do any hiking in this area, we needed to do it soon.
I was surprised to find that there was no snow at the trailhead or anywhere along the trail. With the massive storm that has been dumping snow in the high country, I was certain that this area would have received some snow – but it was not the case.
We ended up hiking about 5 miles. It was a great hike through very dense and foreboding forest. You can tell how much the forest needs to be thinned out and the overgrowth reduced. It was beautiful through to walk on the thin trail that snaked through the towering conifers.
Lex definitely enjoyed his stroll. The only regret for him was that the hike was “dry”. At no point did we come near a stream, a swamp or any body of water. I had plenty of water for him to drink but he enjoys his romps through the wet terrain so much!
Zack also did a great job on the hike. Normally when we start a hike like this the first mile or so are kind of difficult as he adjusts into the activity. Today he didn’t complain, ask how far we were going or wonder how far we had already gone – he just walked and talked to me pleasantly.
(Zack on the trail)
(Me on the trail - it was cold enough this morning that I wore my Gortex jacket!)
We spent about 1.5 hours doing our hike. It was an “out and back” hike meaning we hiked back the same way we had come and saw the same terrain twice. After the hike we headed back down highway 67 to Sedalia. Given that we were going through Sedalia and it was near lunch time… We stopped at Bud’s Bar for lunch. We knew what we were getting even before we walked in the door – cheeseburgers and chips. You know what you are getting before you walk in the door because that is all they serve at Bud’s Bar. Don’t go there expecting to pay with your credit card either – as Bud’s only takes cash, no credit cards accepted.
(Zack in a booth at Bud's Bar.)
Bud’s is one of those Colorado institutions which if you know about it, you make a regular trip there. Fortunately, it isn’t an extremely well know establishment so you can get in and get your cheeseburger without too much of a wait. There reputation for their cheeseburgers is so well know that they have been voted the best burger in the Denver Metro area in “Westword” (the weekly alternative newspaper in Denver) for several years running. Success has not gone to their heads as they have remained true to themselves and appear not to have changed a thing for years.
After we got home we got about doing stuff around the house until it was late in the afternoon. Tonight was the first Nugget’s Basketball game of the year and I had managed to get us tickets. We left the house around 5:35PM to catch a light rail train that would have us arrive at the Pepsi center around 6:20PM. Going to the Nuggets has been something that Zack and I have enjoyed doing for the last several years. It is something to get us out of the house. The Nuggets were winning the game handily so we left at the end of the 3rd quarter when they were ahead by 21 points.
(Zack and me at the Nuggets Game)
During the ride downtown I had a nice conversation with a young lady (she was 22 years my junior) in the seat across from mine. It was very nice to have a conversation with an adult that did not involve work. Since things ended with Shelly, I have had very few of those kind of conversations outside of work. However in the end run conversations like that, though nice are still not the same as having one of the in-depth conversations with Shelly that I used to have. The bottom line is that I miss every aspect of my life with Shelly and so wish I could convince her how much I love her.
Another aspect of how much I miss her is the impact to Zack. In the beginning after we broke up it wasn’t so apparent. However in the most recent days I have seen it so much. Zack and I have talked about it and the he has indicated that he so much misses having Shelly in his life. All I can say is that I stink to have caused all this.
I cannot believe how hard these last several days have been upon me. Up until this past week Shelly and I were have daily communication via text, email or even phone calls. But for the last 3 days we haven’t exchanged one word. My heart is filled with love for her and I want so badly to make things up to her. I realize to some extent the only way I can make things up to her for now is to leave her alone. But I so look forward to the time in which I might get to see her again and try once more to show my remorse and love for her.
Oh well – it to get ready for bed. Zack is upstairs already and it is time for me to head off to bed soon as tomorrow will be another busy day!
Thanks and peace to all! ~J.