For whatever reason I do not have much to say tonight. I think writing what I wrote last night took a lot out of me. I am emotionally and mentally fatigued. In many ways the pain that I am feeling now is so much worse than before. Everything in my head continues to focus on how badly I have messed up and the pain that I caused to someone I love immensely.
I want to thank everyone who left comments about my post of yesterday. I do appreciate all the thoughts and prayer sent my way - though I do not really deserve it in any way shape or form. But thank you!
Like a child I wish I could turn the clock back and do things differently. But unfortunately I do not have HG Wells time machine to allow me to go back in time. So I must live with the present I have created.
There isn't a whole lot going on otherwise. I will work from home for the remainder of the week. Zack is doing so-so, he is still in not so great place in his mind due to the suspension on Monday. I am working with him diligently to prevent him from slipping down into the black hole of anxiety. I am hoping I can nip this in the bud before he has a full on anxiety meltdown.
Zack's fall break starts this weekend. He will be off of school all next week. We don't have any major plans other than to get out and about here in Colorado. I am sure we will get to the mountains for some hiking. I am encouraging him to invite lots of friends over during the week. Hopefully he will follow through and have lots of kids over to play. That will give me time to finish the garage and do some work on the basement.
Well - hopefully I will have more spirit to write more tomorrow evening!
Thanks and peace to all! ~J.