Wednesday, December 8, 2010

On Being Alone

One of the things numerous people have said to me throughout the last 2.5 months since Shelly and I broke up has been “Learn to be OK with being alone”.  Alright – I just don’t get this statement.  It runs 100% counter to human nature and the way we should be as people.

I think there has been way too much made of psychology and the internal human thought processes about being alone.  This is not how we evolved as a species.  In the very olden days if your partner was eaten by a saber-tooth lion, the chances are you were picked up as a partner or picked up a new partner the very next day.

Even in the not too distant past of 100 years ago if your partner died you were normally remarried within several months.  When my great-grandmother died in May of 1911, my great-grandfather was not only dating and seeing someone but remarried by August of 1911.  So where does the thought process come that we need to be OK being alone?

I will tell you very simply and frankly I am not OK being alone.  I HATE it.  I hate every single solitary second of it.  When you have a partner or are married you know that you always have someone at your back.  You know that you always have someone to whom you can tell anything.  (Well – at least that is the way my partnerships have worked.)

So what is the importance of “being OK with yourself and being alone”.  I really think this entire concept has set people on a course to be unhappy and self-indulgent.  When you tell yourself that it is OK to be alone you are much more apt in my mind to be unhappy because you are alone with your thoughts and loneliness much more than some one who has a partner.  I know this issue has been argued back and forth as to what is better for men might be different than what is better for women.  I don’t know specifically as I can only comment on this based upon a man’s position.

Anyway – just some thoughts based upon a sleepless night.

I hope everyone has a great day ahead.

Thanks and peace to all! ~J.



frank said...

jerry i found this vid inspiring, give it a whirl, let me know what u think


Jerry Kromer said...

Frank - I have watched the video and it is very inspirational. I guess my problem has come down to I am not OK in my head right now. Being by myself I guess isn't the problem it is what is going on in my head that makes being alone unbearable. Eventually - I will get past this. Thanks for sharing the video as it was great!