For the last 2 - 3 days the weather in Denver has finally started to show a few signs that spring may finally be on it's way. Thank god is all I can say, as I am as sick of winter as I have ever been before! With this changing weather, the hope of new and wonderful things is also starting to take root in my mind and soul. Yesterday, I took the first step in one of the big things that will be changing in my life this spring. With the diligent help of my designer Kelly, the layout of my new kitchen and family room was completed.
I am working with a small, local company to do the design and implementation of all aspects of the new kitchen/family room. The design is a radical change from the current layout of this space. Whereas today we have two doors leading from the kitchen/family room out onto our deck, in the future layout both of these doors are gone. In their place we will have two windows. Access to the deck will be through a sliding glass door that is taking the place of a window seat that we current have near our kitchen table.
The traditional "peninsula" design of the kitchen is being replaced with a totally new foot print that will utilize an island as the focal point of the kitchen. The island will be big enough that we can get rid of our kitchen table and have seating around a raised area at the end of the island. Gone too is our traditional pantry that is a closet at the end of the kitchen. The pantry is being replaced by a butler's counter that will allow for an easy transition into our formal dining room. As part of the replacement of the pantry with the butler's counter we will be removing two walls that will open up the floor plan of the kitchen making it a lighter, more airy space.
There are so many other changes that will be coming with the new kitchen it is amazing. When I saw the CAD drawings of all that we had designed I was pretty amazed at how it all has come together. I still need to pick out the different woods, tiles and colors that will make up the design palette of the kitchen. There is no way in this world that I am going to be able to create a coherent set of design styles for all this space, so I am really going to have to look for help in this area. As soon as I can settle on the design styles then I will be able to sign the contract and the work can start. The price came in pretty much exactly where it was expected. Doing work of this type is not inexpensive but the value that it will add to the house will be well worth the cost.
Besides the work on the kitchen I have continued to heal in the aftermath of last week's surgery. After my first round of surgery I should have learned not to declare victory too soon. When I last updated the blog I was very happy in the fact that I looked to be finally free of pain. Of course I made this declaration way too soon! Saturday dawned with me feeling quite a lot of pain throughout my hips and legs - both right and left. As the days have passed the pain has only grown worse. However I do feel that the pain is the result of good things happening and not bad. Based upon how I have felt, I am convinced the pain is being caused either by the amount of manipulation that was done to my body during surgery or the fact that I am now walking correctly after a year of injuries and my body is adjusting to using muscles it hasn't used in the last year. Despite the fact that it is hard to even move now, I am very hopeful that this amount of pain will quickly pass and I will start feeling much better. I cannot tell you what it will mean to me to be fully out of pain and feeling much better!
Though I am not feeling the best physically, my mental state has taken a significant step in finally righting the ship that is my brain. Ever since my first surgery back in October I have been in a state of pretty significant anxiety and depression. There are many different things that have come to play into all of this - from my injury, to the end of my relationship with Shelly, to the weather, to the lack of exercise. All of these things have contributed to me being in a general state of unhappiness. At last a lot of this has started to slip away. I feel much more positive and happy about life in general right now. Some of it is due to the improving weather, some of it is due to the fact that I can finally see myself physically healing but then there is another part which I have to give full credit to a person.
In the last 2 weeks, a close friend of mine has reentered my life. Brenda was someone who I dated over the summer during one of the times that Shelly dumped me. I was an utter idiot to her because when Shelly decided she wanted to come back to me, I just ran back to Shelly. Stupid, Jerry - very stupid. I should have been much more respectful and caring towards Brenda, but I wasn't - I was horrible. Brenda is a great person and there is no way I should have acted in the manner in which I acted. So I was pretty much an utter ass to her! There is nothing going on between Brenda and I, but just to have her friendship again and to be part of her life makes a huge difference in my daily existence. Brenda just gets it. She has lived the kind of life that I have lived and has dealt with many of the things with which I have dealt. She understands what it is like to lose your spouse, as her husband died a number of years ago. Whether we are romantically linked again or not - Brenda's friendship has helped me to get out of the horrible mental situation in which I have found myself for these last several months. Thanks Bren - you have once again shown me your generous and loving nature! Thank you!!!
Zack is in the midst of his TCAP tests for the year. The TCAPs are the new incarnation of the dreaded CSAPs Colorado standardized tests which were done away with at the end of last year. To say that he is not thrilled about going to school and doing these tests is a bit of an understatement. He came home from school today in a pretty foul mood just because he had to do TCAPs all day long. I suppose I understand what he is feeling. I think I would go nuts if I had to spend the entire day doing tests also.
Well - I think that will do it for the night. The words are not flowing very well from my finger tips today so I will shut down today's blog entry at this.
Thanks and peace to all! ~J.