Monday, December 17, 2012

Thoughts about Parenting in Light of Sandy Hook

The entire country has been focused on the horrible shooting in Connecticut.  There are so many different angles that you can think about this shooting and comment upon.  Many of you know my stands on guns.  I hate them.  A childhood friend of mine was shot to death when we were 18 years old.  It wasn't a hunting accident or anything like that - he was murdered so that he couldn't testify in a court case.  Growing up in a rural area there were several occasions when I had guns aimed at me and once I was shot at by a hunter with a shotgun.  So in general I hate guns and think that they should be banned.  But that isn't the point of this post.

The point is just to love your children.  There is a blog post going around the web these days from a woman who is afraid her son could turn into one of these mass killers.  She describes all the horrible things her son has done and yet how she still loves him.  If you want to read her blog post you can find it at:

As a read her blog post I couldn't help but think of Zack.  He is one of those people who is obviously brilliant but sometimes has difficulty socializing and relating to people.  He likes to think of himself as a geek or a nerd.  Despite it all, there isn't a mean bone in this boy's body and over the years he has gone out of his way to demonstrate his love and concern for people and animals.

So as much as I get frustrated by Zack's silly and nerdy ways, I can't help but think how lucky I am to have such a loving and caring son.  He learned that trait from his mom who was in my opinion one of the most loving and gentle people who has ever walked this earth.  Zack got the best of her traits and still has them in him even after she left his life so many years ago. 

Zack and I have often talked about his feelings about violence, guns and much of the attitude that seems to take over kids as they become teenagers.  And though he does exhibit some teenager mentality and attitude he is forever against violence and guns.  He describes himself as a pacifist and says he would never use violence unless someone was hurting another person or an animal.

I love my son very deeply and though he may not be perfect he has a very good heart.  Sometimes it is very important to remind myself of that as I can too often get angry and annoyed by him getting a bad grade or doing something dorkish.  He still exhibits that innocence and goodness that those sweet 6 and 7 year old massacred by the mad man had.  It makes me sick to think of someone hurting and killing those precious little children.  Yes - he was a madman because no one who is sane or rational could get it in their mind to bring such harm to innocents!

For me the whole thing is just a wake up call to show my son I love him even more than usual and let him know that he is the best thing that ever happened to me!  I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like to be one of those parents whose child will never come home again.

Thanks and peace to all! ~J.


Johanna said...

So sad for all the families suffering through this right now. Thanks for sharing your heart.

Rilly said...

There is no single solution for preventing these tragedies. It would be wonderful if love was all it took, or banning guns was all it took, etc. Here's a link to one woman's opinion she expressed on her blog. I know her, you couldn't love your children any more than she does, and I think her opinion is probably THE most important move toward any solution.