Team in Training - Week 2

So today began Week 2 of Team-in-Training activity.  This week's goal is to run 5 times for at least 20 minutes at a crack.  The whole goal of this phase of the training is to start to build up endurance.  There isn't any specific question for speed or distant but just to keep up the running for 20 minutes once you start.  Twenty minutes is the minimum that you need to run, however most days it is recommended that you run at 30 minutes with a long run over the weekend of 40 minutes.

I accomplished my first of the five runs today.  Though because it is cold I ran inside on the treadmill at the gym.  My goal with this phase of the training is to build up my endurance without getting injured.  My biggest injury concern is getting shin splints as we I used to run a lot in the past I was very prone to shin splints.  Hopefully I can avoid that painful condition!

I haven't yet begun my fund raising for my team-in-training effort but I am going to make the first plug here.  I need donations to fund my efforts in the fight against blood cancer.  Please consider making a donation to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society from my Team-in-Training website.  The web address of my Team-in-training website is:  http://pages.teamintraining.org/rm/canyonld11/jkromer_LTN.  I would greatly appreciate any and all contributions made by everyone.  Even if it is only $5 I would really appreciate it.  THANKS!!! 

I feel like I need to further clarify last night's post.  Basically, I have said this before I believe.  I feel that all the good things I have done in my life have been overshadowed by actions concerning the breakup with Shelly.  I felt really bad about this last night because I felt I was being judged by a friend who I would not have expected this from.  Anyway - I made a mess of how I said it on the blog last night.  I made it sound like there were two different sides to a story - which there aren't.  There is only the truth and I think I have told as much of the true as I humanly can.  Anyway - the way I wrote about it last night just wasn't the way I wanted to convey it.

I hope everyone had a great Monday so far!

Thanks and peace to all! ~J.

FYSRD

Clarifying My Blog Entry of Last Night...

I took a few minutes to re-read what I wrote last night and I wanted to clarify it.

I am not looking to place blame anywhere but on me.  I was particularly hurt last night because of the words of someone who I considered a good friend.  The person used my words that I had written in my blog to condemn me.  I was sad because I don't try and toot my own horn here.  I try and put the worst of myself forward. 

Oh well - I shouldn't have written about it because I couldn't write about with the clarity I wanted.  I stumbled on my words and made it sound like crap.  Bottom line - I was hurting last night.

Thanks and peace to all! ~J.

FYSRD!

My Blog As A Personal Diary

Throughout the entire time I have been blogging I have used my blog as a basically a private diary that  I have put in the public eye.  I haven't put everything out there, but I feel that I have put a lot of my life out there in this blog.  I have a question I would like to ask my readers - Do I put too much stuff out there?  So either post a comment or send me an e-mail at jkromer@ix.netcom.com with what you think - as I would love to here it.

I know I have put a tremendous amount of stuff out there about my relationship with Shelly and my love for her.  In some ways I have used the blog to communicate this information to Shelly as it has been one of my only ways of communicating with her.  I know for a while she used to read the blog, I am not sure that she even does that anymore.

My life must seem extremely messed up to most people who read my blog.  I guess in some ways it is.  I do keep life for Zack very ordinary and even keeled.  He unfortunately did have to see a lot of the conflict between Shelly and me at the end.  There probably wasn't any way to avoid that, but had I been a better parent I probably could have prevented that.

One of the things that frustrates me the most with blog is that I tend to put things out there about myself in the most negative light as I have been seeking forgiveness from Shelly - and lots of people have judged me based upon this.  I know I have said in many of my posts "Judge as you will".  But it is frustrating to have people judge you when they only know one side of the story.  (And by that I don't mean my side of the story versus Shelly's side of the story.  Instead I mean I have never portrayed some of the good things I have done - always the negative.)  I purposely haven't been to forth coming in which I have done good things.  As a result of the judgment I will say I feel very isolated and depressed.  The depression of course goes far beyond the judgment.  Much of it comes from the way the situation went down with Shelly.  But I do feel I have gotten a short side of a stick.

(I have read and re-read the section above and it didn't come out the way I wanted.  I was just saying I feel down trodden and I feel that some of my friends and people in my life have judged me in ways that are necessarily true.  Let me be clear - I am not placing any responsibility on Shelly.  I am taking the responsibility on myself.  I just feel sad that people who I know and love can judge so harshly.)

Argh....  I will definitely write more about this entire subject later as there is just so much to say.  There is so much hurt bundled up in me.  I hate feeling this way.  I hate feeling that people hate me and think so little of me.  I have tried to be honest with what I have posted on this blog.  I am just very frustrated and depressed right now.


Peace to all! ~J.

FYSRD