A Year in Review - 2012

A long time ago some one told me not to look for changes in life on a day-day basis but instead on a longer time frame like a month or a year.  And so it is with my life.  As the final hours of 2012 slowly fade away I am stepping back from today and looking at where I was a year ago.  The changes that have occurred since December 31, 2011 are drastic and amazing.  For the first time since the late summer of 2005 I feel as though I have attained a calm, serene and content life.  There are no drastic pressures pushing me in one way or another.  My personal life is calm and drama free.  I am physically, mentally and emotionally stronger than at any other time since before Patty's illness and death.  In general I feel happy, content, secure, strong and looking forward to the future and new meaningful experiences.

So how was my life a year ago?  Let's look at what was happening to Zack and me.  First off, I could hardly move.  My back was a mess and the pain levels I experienced every day were out of this world.  On top of all that I was mentally and emotionally a wreck.  My life for the previous two years had been horrendous but I was too stupid to see it.  I had started a relationship with a person who was more interested in the trappings of a relationship as opposed to being a partner.  It was a mess and it had only end about 2 months before and I hadn't yet gotten my emotional and mental state righted.

Lastly Zack was suffering greatly from his episodes with anxiety and OCD.  As 2011 came to an end he was beginning a downward spiral into what I call the "black hole" of anxiety. 

We were struggling to make it through the everyday things we needed to do.  It was rough and I felt like I was at a breaking point.

The situation is so much different at the end of 2012.  Most important of all, Zack has been anxiety and OCD free for almost an entire year!  As the anxiety started to take a hold of him in early January, I sought out any kind of ideas from his psychologists and his psychiatrist.  This time as opposed to the many times in the past, a new medication was suggested and put in place.  Within a week of the introduction of the new medication, Zack had climbed out of the "anxiety black hole" and was back to his normal self.  And what was even more tremendous, was that his normal self was without any anxiety.  This time there were no small lingering effects of the anxiety - he was finally free of all that had plagued him since Patty's death.  By the end of January of 2012 my son finally had his life back after suffering for years from traumatic levels of anxiety and OCD.

On top of that tremendously positive change, I am now mostly free of the pain that wracked my back for so long.  It took 3 surgeries and countless (still ongoing) hours of physical therapy, but I live without pain medications and with only minor episodes of pain.  Coupled with the decreased pain, I have gained back 1/2 inch in height that I lost because of my herniated discs and as my activity levels have increased I have reduced my weight to a level I had not seen in 5 years.  Physically I am looking forward to the new year for lots of hiking, biking, snow shoeing and even running.  Once again tales of many hikes and bike rides taken will fill the pages of this blog!

My personal life is also much calmer and full of peace.  In late April I met Lisa and we have hung out since then.  Everything between us has been exceedingly low-key, serene and laid-back.  We have a good time being together but we can also do our own things - so it is all good.

There are too many other things that happened this year than I can even mention.  Some of the more notable ones for us have been trips to Costa Rica and Iceland.  A new kitchen and a family room really changed our home in a positive way.  Zack and I also worked hard at putting a new set of order in place in our home.  Now instead of it being a disorganized mess the clutter is mostly gone and everything is in it's place.  Well - I still have several major projects to complete before I can totally declare victory in my quest to organize the house.   But so much work has already been done it seem like a new home.

Attached are a few of the pictures that high-light the activities of our year.

(In Puerto Limon during March trip to Costa Rica)

 (Zack on the beach in Costa Rica)

(Beautiful seascape on the Eastern Coast of Costa Rica)

 (Zack and Cole in Rocky Mountain National Park in April)

 (Long Peak in RMNP)

(Zack the King of the Garden Gnomes!)

(High up in the Eastern Fjords of Iceland in July)

 

(A beautiful waterfall not far from Iceland's Eastern Coast)

(On our way to Papey Island off Iceland's Eastern Atlantic Coast.)

(Mount Bierstadt and the Sawtooth in late August)

(Aspens on the slopes above Georgetown.)

 (On the Golden Gate Bridge in September)

 (Point Bonita in the Marin Headlands to the North of San Francisco)

(Hanging with Lisa in San Francisco.  Yes - that's me in the sparkly costume.... not!  Just a street performer.)

As this year comes to a close I really hope that for all of you the year has been good to you and that 2013 will bring you many good things!

Thanks and peace to all! ~J.

And A Merry And Happy Christmas To All!

To each and everyone I want to wish a happy, wonderful, joyous and merry Christmas!  It is a wonderful day and I hope that each and every person who reads this has been able to be with their family, friends and loved ones on this day.

Christmas is such a quiet and peaceful day.  It is the one day each year in which much of world seems to slow down and even stop for a little bit.  Most stores are closed, there seems to be less traffic on the streets and there is just a slow, low key aspect to this day.  I hope the peace and quiet of this day has been part of everyone's day!

For us it has been a great day.  We hosted a Christmas Eve get together last night that was a lot of fun.  We had some excellent food, numerous bottles of wine and vodka were drunk and several rousing rounds of the game "Apples to Apples" were played.  We kept things going rather late and when the time came for everyone to go home, I think a good time had been had by all.  It was certainly the most lively Christmas Eve this house has seen since 2005!

Today has been much quieter with only Zack, Nancy and me here.  We exchanged gifts as soon as we awoke and have just taken the time to hang out together and enjoy each others company.  A big change from prior years was the time we arose.  You can definitely tell that Zack is now officially a teenager as he didn't get out of bed until 9:00AM!  I could have slept until noon I am sure as I stayed up late cleaning up the house after our Christmas Eve gathering and then started the work to wrap Christmas presents at 1:00AM.  Sleep didn't come for me until 3:00AM, so perhaps a nap is in order this afternoon.

Right now Zack and I are sharing some time together in the comfort of the warm basement.  There's a delightful fire burning in the fireplace so we are warm and cozy.  Zack is going back and forth between watching some TV and exploring all the features of his new laptop.  As he is going into high school in the 2013/2014 school year I felt it was time for him to have his own laptop.  This was his major gift for Christmas.

A little later today the three of us will head over to my brother's house for Christmas dinner.  We'll hang out there for much of the late afternoon and early evening.  Once I get Zack and Nancy back home, I'll head over to Lisa's house to spend the rest of the evening hanging out with her and her sons.

All-in-all this is the best Christmas that we have had in many years.  The best part of it has been spending the time with those who I love.

I really hope that everyone has been able to experience the warmth and joy of being with their loved ones on this wonderful day.

Merry Christmas! ~ J.

Repulsive, Digusting and Unbelievable

Today the National Rifle Association held a press conference to offer their "meaningful" contribution to the national dialogue that has taken place since Sandy Hook.  Their statement was grotesque, disgusting and unbelievable in light of the horrible tragedy that befell Sandy Hook Elementary.  The essence of their response was "Everything else is responsible for this tragedy other than guns and to ensure safety in our schools we should have armed police or volunteers in every school."  For more details on what the NRA said, please see this article on NBCNews.Com - http://nbcpolitics.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/12/21/16069537-nra-blames-media-music-and-more-for-culture-of-violence?lite

What an absolutely arrogant and horrible response to the death of those innocents.  When tragedies like this have occurred in other countries there has been meaningful action taken by all to limit the prevalence of guns and ensure that guns are not easily accessible.  Only in the United States do we have such a vocal minority who think that gun ownership is the answer to stopping violence and will do anything in their power to ensure that no limits are ever placed on any kind of gun ownership.

A tragedy similar to Sandy Hook happened in the UK in 1996 when an armed man entered the Dunblane primary school and murdered 16 five and six year old students and one teacher.  In response to this horrific event several laws were enacted that effectively ended the private ownership of hand guns in the UK.  (Please note: The guns that were outlawed were guns that were meant to kill people.  Rifles and shotguns used in hunting were not outlawed.)  This has had a very obvious effect on the overall number of murders in the UK and the number of murders by gun.  In 2008, which is the last year for which I could find statistics, there were a total of 648 murders in the UK of which only 39 were committed by guns.  In the United State for 2009 there were 15,241 total murders of which 9,146 were caused by guns.  Granted the UK only has about 1/5 the population of the United States, so you would expect the numbers to be lower.  However extrapolating the UK murder rates on a population the size of the United States the murder rate would be 3240 of which only 195 would be caused by guns. (Please see this website for background on the analysis http://www.juancole.com/2011/01/over-9000-murders-by-gun-in-us-39-in-uk.html)

The restriction on gun ownership has had a dramatic impact on the number of murders by guns in the UK.  In most other developed countries in the world, gun ownership is restricted or even outlawed.  Why do we have to be so different?  Why can't organizations like the NRA and many on the right wing realize that the abundance of guns in our society makes it so much easier for tragedies like Sandy Hook to occur?  Without the number of guns in our society it would be difficult for day-to-day arguments or break-ins to escalate to the point of murder.  Madmen like the Sandy Hook killer would find it difficult to acquire weapons in they weren't just laying around in so many homes.  Think too of the impact on suicides if guns weren't readily available.  Without a doubt the number of people who commit suicide based upon impulsive thoughts would certainly diminish.

I can only hope the voice of reason will win out in the coming debate of limiting the proliferation of guns in our society.  And as for the NRA - I hope that somewhere along the line they learned the stupidity of their position and realize how disrespectful what they advocate is to the memories of those who were murdered a week ago.

There is bound to be significant disagreement with my thoughts on this subject and I am will to hear it out.  So bring on your comments and tell me where I am wrong.

Thanks and peace to all! ~J.