F*&% it all!!

Like the scene from the movie Network. I just have to say "I'm as mad as hell and I 'm not going to take this anymore!"   So why am I as mad as hell?  Because I am sick and tired of being in pain associated with this stinking stress fracture that I have in my leg.  I had an appointment with my orthopedic surgeon today and she looked at the MRI of my back and just said - "You need to see a spinal surgeon".  Great!!!

The reason that she wants me to see a spinal surgeon is that in her opinion my herniated disc is "severely" (those are her words) pressing upon my spine.  She was somewhat surprised that I haven't yet experienced any early indicators that paralysis could be coming involved in my situation because of how much my spine has been compressed.  To which all I can say is "Motherfucker".  Sorry for the foul language but those were the words that came out of my mouth when she told this. 

Bottom line - I am really tired of this crap with my leg and back.  Since the injury happened in mid-March, I have been pretty much in some form of pain day-in and day-out.  That is nine months with continuous pain.  Talk about a real bit in the shorts.

Ok - now that I have that pity party for myself out of the way, I am going to get busy trying to get the situation resolved.  I am really hoping I can avoid doing the back surgery thing.  The operation is risky and there would be a chance that I could be paralyzed from the waist down and let me tell you I really don't want that.  I would adjust but it is certainly not in my realm of desire to spend the rest of my life in a wheel chair.  Ah...  NO!

Getting an appointment to see the spinal surgeon is taking a bit.  Based upon the appointment I made today I won't get to see him until December 19th.  So I am going to take advantage of having a doctor in the family and see if my sister-in-law can do somethings to speed that along.  I'll see if it can happen but usually my sister-in-law has been done great things in terms of getting me doctor's appointments very quickly when it would have taken weeks.

This afternoon I did engage in a little bit of a pity party for myself.  But then I sat back and realized a lot of things and of course things could be much worse.  So for now I am going to put my chin up and try and forget about all the bad stuff that could happen and just hope that this issue will be solved without surgery.  As I said the other day - I CAN do anything!

There isn't a whole lot else to say for today in relationship to what is going on with Zack and me.  I do have some ideas floating around in my head that I might want to write about later tonight, but I'll see if I am in the writing mood.

One thing I do want to call out.  Obviously with the news I received today I haven't been in the best of moods.  My little puppy Finnegan has been such a wonder at improving my mood.  He really does seem to sense what I am feeling and just makes himself available to comfort me.  Either that or he is just an attention whore and wants me to pet and scratch him all the time.  It's probably the latter, but he still does such a good job curling up with me and making me feel better when I am down.  I can't stop but always think what a remarkable, loving puppy he is.  So if anyone is thinking of getting a puppy for Christmas, do what we did  last year and go to the animal rescue shelter.  I think the puppies that you get there so are much more loving and giving!  Just Jerry's opinion mind you.

It's kind of funny because as I sit here typing this blog entry I hear my little Finnegan off in the living room barking and growling at something.  He is so funny in the fact that every time he sees something out of the ordinary he has to growl and bark.  He is actually a big scary cat.  But I do love that Finnegan so much!

I hope everyone has had a great Tuesday!

Thanks and peace to all! ~J.